My Red Velvet who taught me how to love…
I was roaming in my garden and I found a very tiny velvet touch red insect. Red color attracts me the most so I slowly picked it up and kept it safely in a matchbox. I packed it with soft cotton and tried to keep tiny pieces of leaves in it to be eaten by the insect. I used to call it Velvet because it was red and soft like velvet.
One day after I came from school my mom noticed me taking the matchbox and she thought that I was igniting the fire. She came to know about the insect and tried to convenience me in vain to leave it in its natural habitat. But I thought that I loved it and wanted to keep it with me.
Every morning before going to school I would check out for the tiny insect, touch it lovingly and keep some leaves inside the matchbox for it. while at school too, I kept thinking about my little Velvet. Its thoughts revolved around me for 24 hours. When I came back from school my first job was to have a look inside the matchbox for Velvet and touch it. At night too I would keep it right beside my pillow but my mom did not like it.
She always told me not to ‘ overdo’ the things. But I never listened to her. For me either I could overdo the things or do nothing at all. There were always two extremes in my life and I never had a balanced view.
A week later I found that Velvet was motionless. It lay dead inside the matchbox. In spite of me taking its best care, offering it best leaves to eat, it had died. For me, it was a big loss which no one could understand because for everyone else it was just a small insect but for me… it occupied my mind and heart for 24 hours. I was unable to get it out of my mind even for a second. I would cry and lament and one day my mom came to console me and said;
” Was it really love? You tried to hold it so hard and took great care of it but what was the end result? You made it a prisoner and said that you loved it. Instead of that, it could have been better if you had left it in the garden, at least it could have survived. If you love someone or something set it free, if it comes back to you, it is yours. If it does not, then it never was!” I cried too much and felt that I was responsible for its death and my love killed the insect.
Today also, I can’t leave the habit of overdoing things in spite of my best efforts. But yes… I have learned to set the person free even though I love him/her too much. It keeps pinching my soul and I just keep waiting for a person to return to me. But I have learned to keep everything in my heart.
“shokh nahi hai mujze sare aam apne jasbado ko likhne ka,
Magar aur koi jariya bhi to nahi tuz se baat karne ka…..”